I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
