It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
