break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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