Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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