I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
