I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Randomize
