there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
