So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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