she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
