I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
