you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
