people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
