dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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