he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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