I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
