just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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