yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
