thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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