I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
