I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
