Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
too bad you live with your parents still
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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