You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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