Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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