I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
