I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
