So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
What a dumb baby whore.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
