Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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