I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
