It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize