girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
