I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
