dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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