i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
