All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
