I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
