i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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