susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You took a bar mat shot.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
