Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
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