I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize