he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
