i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
