no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
