This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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