Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
