New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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