So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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