What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
