bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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