Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
