well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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