DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
