DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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