i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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