if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
